Before You Speak: A Grounding Ritual for Introverted Leaders Who Dread the Spotlight
You’ve led the project. Solved the problem. Run the data. And now—it’s time to present.
And that’s when the spiral begins:
“What if I mess this up?”
“They’re going to think I’m boring.”
“I should’ve let someone else do this.”
If that inner voice sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Many brilliant leaders tell me they feel confident in one-on-one conversations or deep in their technical work—but when the attention turns to them at a meeting or presentation, something shifts.
They don’t feel like themselves.
When Confidence Gets Quiet
One of my clients—a thoughtful, capable IT leader—used to dread his weekly team meetings. He wanted to build connection with his team, but each time he prepared to speak, he felt stiff and unsure.
Then came the moment that changed everything.
He overheard one of his direct reports say, “I hate our weekly meetings. He acts like a robot—just drones on and never says anything useful or encouraging.”
Ouch!
That comment became the soundtrack in his head.
He couldn’t stop thinking about it. And the more he fixated, the more robotic and withdrawn he became. It was a self-fulfilling loop: the more he feared being judged, the less he showed up as his usual affable, supportive self.
The Shift: Confidence Is Built Before You Speak
Here’s the truth I helped him see—and the truth I want you to embrace:
👉 Confidence isn’t something you magically have—it’s something you prepare for.
👉 Your audience isn’t looking for perfection—they’re craving connection.
👉 You don’t need to become someone else—you need a ritual that helps you be fully you.
With that shift, everything changed.
We reworked his meeting flow, yes. We added stories, simplified the agenda, and made space for encouragement.
But the real transformation came from changing how he talked to himself before the meeting ever began.
3 Rituals to Ground Yourself Before You Speak
Whether you’re presenting to your team, your stakeholders, or senior leadership, these simple pre-speaking practices can help calm your nerves and bring out your best:
1. Create a “Pre-Meeting Power Statement”
Choose a phrase that reminds you of your strengths. Something like:
“I bring clarity, not chaos.”
“They want me to succeed.”
“I don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.”
Repeat it to yourself while walking to the meeting room or logging on to Zoom.
2. Envision One Person You’re Helping
Instead of trying to impress the whole room, focus on helping just one person. Picture a colleague who needs what you’re about to share—and speak directly to them.
It takes the pressure off and shifts your mindset from performance to purpose.
3. Move Your Body, Then Ground Your Feet
A quick walk, some shoulder rolls, or a few deep belly breaths can work wonders. When you sit or stand to speak, press your feet firmly into the floor and take one grounding breath.
This brings your energy down from your head to your body—where confidence lives.
From Spiral to Strength
I love what Brené Brown says “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” When you create a ritual to use before you step out in front of the group you'll no longer dread speaking. It isn't about faking charisma or become someone you’re not. It is about priming your presence each and every time.
Building and using the tools to stop the spiral before it starts—and a practice to bring you back to yourself.
That’s exactly what I teach inside my 5 S.T.E.P.S. to Speaking Success program. We go beyond tips and tricks and get to the real work: shifting your mindset, harnessing your presence, and learning to lead with confidence that feels like you.
Ready to Show Up Calm, Clear, and Confident?
The Fall 2025 cohort of 5 S.T.E.P.S. to Speaking Success™ is forming now.
If you’re an introverted leader who’s ready to stop dreading the spotlight and start owning your voice, join the waitlist today.
