You can spend weeks creating your presentation, then rehearse your slides until midnight, polish every word, and still feel your heart racing when it’s time to speak. That shaky, light-headed moment before you open your mouth? It isn’t a sign that you’re unprepared. It’s your body’s way of saying, this matters.

Most professionals try to fight it. They tell themselves to relax, paste on a smile, and hope no one notices the tremor in their voice. But forcing calm rarely works. What does work is learning how to prime your body and mind, so you can channel that nervous energy into focus.

That’s what I call Prime Your Presence, and it is the fourth step of my 5 S.T.E.P.S to Speaking Success™ framework. It’s not about pretending to be confident. It’s about preparing yourself to feel steady, grounded, and fully present before you speak.

1. Breathe like a leader, not a lifeguard

You’ve probably heard “just breathe” more times than you can count. But the kind of breathing that settles the nervous system is slower and more purposeful than most people realize.
Try this before the next you step in front of a group, in person or on camera:

• Sit or stand tall and exhale first.

• Inhale quietly through your nose for a slow count of three.

• Hold for one beat.

• Exhale through your mouth for a count of four.

Repeat this cycle three times.

This short pattern signals your body that you’re safe. It slows the racing pulse, clears your head, and buys you back the composure you thought you’d lost. It’s science, not magic, but it can feel like both.

2. Choose a focus phrase

When anxiety hits, the brain loves to chase worst-case scenarios: What if I blank? What if they see I’m nervous? You need a replacement loop. Pick a phrase that grounds you in what’s true. Some of my clients use:

“I’m prepared and present.”
“My audience wants me to succeed.”
“I can handle whatever happens.”

Keep it short and repeat it under your breath as you walk to the front of the room or log on to the virtual platform. A focus phrase interrupts the spiral of self-doubt and brings you back to purpose.

3. Use a pre-presentation ritual

Think of athletes before a game: headphones on, one last stretch, eyes closed in focus. You deserve the same ritual. Create a short sequence that cues your body it’s time to perform, not panic.

Here’s an example of what that might look like:

1. Review your opening line aloud once.

2. Take one slow breath in and out.

3. Plant your feet, roll your shoulders back, and lift your chin.

4. Picture one friendly face in the audience (real or imagined).

5. Smile, genuinely, not forced.

This ritual doesn’t take more than thirty seconds, but it signals to your nervous system: I’m ready.

When you prime your presence like this, you’re not suppressing nerves, you’re converting them into energy you can use. The audience feels that shift. You go from shaky to solid, from reactive to responsive.

Why “fake it till you make it” falls short

The problem with “faking confidence” is that it keeps you in performance mode. You’re busy acting composed instead of being composed. That’s exhausting and unsustainable.
Real confidence isn’t about flawless delivery, it’s about trust. Trusting that you’ve prepared, that you can think on your feet, and that even if something goes sideways, you’ll recover.

When you focus on presence instead of perfection, mistakes shrink. You become more conversational, more human—and ironically, more compelling.

Try this before your next big moment

1. Set a timer for two minutes.
   Close your eyes, breathe in for three, out for four.

2. Repeat your focus phrase twice.

3. Visualize the first thirty seconds of your talk going well, your voice clear, your audience attentive.

4. Open your eyes and start.

You’ll be surprised how quickly your mind follows your body’s lead.

Your voice already carries more confidence than you think.

If you’ve ever shared a tough message with your team or explained a complex idea to a client, you already know how to communicate under pressure. Priming Your Presence is a simple way you extend that same calm authority to larger settings. It’s the bridge between knowing your stuff and owning the room.

This Tuesday, November 4 at 4 PM ET, I’m going live on my YouTube channel to walk through these techniques and answer questions in real time. Bring your nerves, your curiosity, and pen and paper for notes. No need to register simply click here when it's time.

Join me for this conversation because your audience doesn’t need you to be perfect. They just need you to be present.