Many professionals believe great speakers always know exactly what to say. They picture someone who walks into a meeting, delivers their message flawlessly, and answers every question without hesitation. But that’s not how it actually works.

Recently I was listening to a podcast conversation with Stanford professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, known for their work on Designing Your Life. They shared a concept that applies just as much to public speaking as it does to life decisions:

When people believe there is only one right answer, they freeze.

Picture this. You’re in an important meeting or perhaps standing in a circle at a networking event, and someone tosses a question your way. Suddenly, your brain turns into an old dial-up modem. You can practically hear the static as your mind searches for the "right" file.

You aren’t silent because you don't have the information. You’re silent because you’re hunting for the perfect answer. You’re trying to solve a problem that doesn’t actually exist, and while you’re searching, the moment passes you by.

The "Expert Trap" and the Weight of Knowledge

One of my clients recently shared a struggle that I hear quite often from high-achieving professionals. She told me she constantly felt like she was getting "lost" in her own material during presentations. She is an absolute expert in her field, with years of experience and knowledge. But in our work together, we uncovered a hidden hurdle: she struggled with imposter syndrome and worried that others wouldn’t see her as the expert she truly is.

Because she wanted to prove her value, she felt the need to share everything she knew about a topic all at once. Every question was an invitation to deliver a mini-lecture. The result? Information overload for her audience and a massive amount of internal pressure for her. She was treating every interaction like a final exam where she had to show all her work, rather than a conversation where she could simply be helpful. This is the "Expert Trap," where our own brilliance becomes a barrier to connection.

Lessons from Stanford: Odyssey Thinking

What I love about the work of Burnett and Evans is they teach a concept called Odyssey Thinking. In their world, they encourage people to stop believing there is only one "correct" path for their life. Instead, they ask you to imagine three completely different versions of your next five years.

The goal is to eliminate "functional fixedness," which is that internal freeze that happens when we think there is only one right answer. When you believe there is only one correct path, the pressure to choose correctly becomes paralyzing. But when you realize there are multiple viable directions, you relax. You become curious instead of anxious.

This principle applies just as much to public speaking as it does to major life decisions. When professionals believe there is one perfect response to a question, they overthink, they lose their train of thought, and they fill the silence with "um" and "uh" while they frantically scan their mental hard drive.

The Shift: Choosing "Helpful" Over "Perfect"

The secret to staying engaged in the room is a simple mental pivot. Instead of asking yourself, "What’s the right thing to say?", I want you to try asking, "What’s one helpful thing I could say right now?"

That one word, helpful, changes your entire internal chemistry. When you aim for "perfect," you are performing. When you aim for "helpful," you are serving. This shift does three things immediately:

1. It Lowers the Pressure: You don't have to be the smartest person in the room; you just have to be useful. It’s much easier to find one helpful point than it is to find the "ultimate" answer.

2. It Keeps You Present: Performance is a "me-focused" activity. Service is "you-focused." When you focus on being helpful to the person across from you, you stop worrying about how you look and start focusing on how they are receiving the information.

3. It Invites Interaction: Perfection is a closed door. It doesn't leave room for follow-up or nuance. But a "helpful" suggestion is an invitation for a conversation. It moves the ball down the field rather than trying to score a touchdown on every single play.

How Presence Follows Thought

When you make this shift, something happens to your physical presence, too. When we are stuck in the "One Right Answer" trap, our bodies show it. We lean back, our eyes dart around, and our breath gets shallow. We look like we’re trying to remember a grocery list.

But when you commit to just being helpful, you naturally lean in. Your eye contact becomes more stable because you’re looking for a connection, not a script. You relax, and when you relax, you engage. Strong communicators aren't people who never stumble, they are people who stay in the room and stay in the moment.

Confidence is "Handling," Not "Rehearsing"

One of the biggest myths about public speaking is that it’s about delivering a flawless, polished message. It’s not. It’s about participation. If you want to deliver a perfect message, you could just send an email. People come to meetings and events for the person, not just the data.

Real confidence doesn't come from rehearsing every possible response until you’re a robot. It comes from knowing that whatever happens next, you can handle it. It’s the trust you have in yourself to navigate the conversation in real-time.

Your Challenge This Week

This week, I want you to try a little "Odyssey Thinking" in your own professional life. Whether you are in a boardroom, a Zoom call, or a coffee shop, don't wait for the "perfect" moment to speak.

When a question arises, challenge yourself to offer one useful idea. Not the most impressive thing, and certainly not the "everything" that my client tried to share. Just one thing that moves the conversation forward. You’ll notice that people respond better, the tension in your shoulders will drop, and your confidence will grow.

When you let go of the idea that there’s only one right answer, you free yourself to truly engage. And when you engage, you don’t just speak, you lead.

I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever "frozen" because you were trying too hard to be the expert? Or perhaps you've felt that pressure to be perfect in a meeting? Tell me about your experience in the comments!